


Stone Cold

by indievous



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Captain America: The First Avenger, Heartbreak, Hurt/Comfort, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I Will Go Down With This Ship, M/M, Songfic, Stucky - Freeform, What Was I Thinking?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-20
Updated: 2016-11-20
Packaged: 2018-09-01 04:31:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8607982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/indievous/pseuds/indievous
Summary: Inspired by Demi Lovato's 'Stone Cold.' Bucky loses Steve even before he falls, before Steve goes under. It's all thanks to a bright eyed, British woman named Margaret Carter.





	

_Stone cold, stone cold._

 

The scene was painted just like the set of a movie. Girls in red dresses with red smiles twirled around in the arms of guys who were just looking to have a one night stand. A band that no one had ever heard of played from the stage in the back, creating an upbeat tune that seemed to unite the dancers in harmony.

 

Sargent James Buchanan Barnes watched this scene unfold from the bar nearest the door, in case he needed to make a quick exit. There was a scowl etched onto his face as his eyes landed on the man that used to be his, dancing with the woman who stole him away. Steve glanced over at him; Bucky felt like a knife had cut his heart.

 

_You see me standing but I'm dying on the floor._

 

Margaret Carter.

 

Peggy.

 

Even the mere thought of the woman was like poison to him. He hated the fact that there was literally nothing wrong with her – she was beautiful, smart, kind, and grateful for everything in the world. Everything Steve deserved.

 

Everything Bucky wasn't.

 

_Maybe if I don't cry, I won't feel anymore._

 

The soldier knocked back his drink like it would be the magic solution to all his problems, but all it did was leave his throat burning.

 

After Steve had rescued nearly the entire 107th infantry, Peggy started clinging to him like he was the greatest person in the world.

 

Which he was, but Bucky hated that he wasn't the only one who saw that anymore.

 

It was after that when Steve began distancing himself from his best friend and spending more time chasing the skirt of the British dame. When the Captain smiled, it wasn't because of a joke that Bucky cracked when they woke up warm in a mess of tangled limbs and sheets at dawn. It wasn't because they just made love and Steve was staring at him like he put the sun in the sky.

 

He smiled because Peggy smelled like flowers and candy and everything soft and feminine. Because she made some light-hearted joke that was not nearly as funny as his best friend's but made his heart skip anyway because it was _her._

 

_God knows I try to feel happy for you._

 

He really did. Bucky knew that he loved Steve more than he thought possible because as much as he hated to see him with _her,_ he hated seeing the man upset more than anything.

 

And nothing crushed his heart more than the memory of Steve's face the night they argued for the last time.

 

“I don't know what I want anymore, Bucky, okay?” The Captain said miserably, rubbing a giant hand over his face. “Peggy's....She's not like other dames. She's special.”

 

“So was I!” Bucky choked out, his eyes filling with tears despite his pride. “I was everything to you...I was your best friend!”

 

“You _are_ my best friend.” Steve argued, and the look on his face told Bucky that he knew just how much they were hurting each other. “Nothing can ever change that!”

 

The soldier shook his head, because he needed a moment to get rid of that horrible lump in his throat. “She can, Steve. She can and she is.”

 

_I was your amber but now she's your shade of gold._

 

Not a word was spoken for several minutes. Bucky could see the gears in Steve's mind turning, trying to think of a way to argue against the truth.

 

“You can't have us both, Steve.” He whispered, his gaze on his shoes. “I'm sorry, but I can't share you. I love you too much.”

 

He heard the sound of a whimper and looked up to see tears falling down Steve's cheeks. Bucky started, wanting to move forward and kiss them away because he hated seeing Steve cry and this was shredding his heart to pieces. But he couldn't. He wouldn't.

 

_Me and my heart will make it through._

 

“Bucky,” The blond's voice was strained. “Please, Bucky...”

 

“No, Steve.” He said firmly, but every inch of his being wanted to scream yes. “You made your choice. I'm sorry. I hope she's everything you ever wanted.”

 

_I wish I could mean this but here's my goodbye._

 

Steve fell to his knees with a small thump, his head in his hands and his body shaking with sobs. Bucky turned his back so he wouldn't be tempted to take the man into his arms and comfort him like he used to when the body was smaller and a hundred times more frail. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to block out those heart-wrenching cries.

 

“I-I love you,” Steve sobbed. “I've always loved you, and I always will.”

 

“But not as much as you want her and the normal life she can give you.”

 

“I'm so s-sorry.”

 

“Goodbye, Steve.”

 

Those two words were perhaps the final blows to their hearts, and tears began their descent down his cheeks as he walked away. With every inch he put between them, the Captain's cries grew louder. But Bucky would _not_ turn around.

 

He didn't, and now he was occupying the same bar as his ex-lover and friend, watching him dance with the woman who stole him away.

 

_I'm happy for you, know that I am. Even if I can't understand._

 

The next day they set out on the mission that neither of them would emerge from, not really. Bucky didn't know it when they landed on the train that he was going to fall, but when he picked up that shield and fought alongside his former friend it wasn't to save his own life.

 

Because whether he made it out alive or died trying, he knew that his future could never turn out like the one Peggy and Steve had planned. And, anyway, all his life he'd been saving Steve. It wasn't a habit that could just be kicked.

 

The icy wind whipped at Bucky's skin as he fell, and though it was hard to see he watched Steve's horrified face until he couldn't anymore. He accepted his fate. He was ready to die.

 

Nothing could hurt more than losing Steve to _her_ anyway.

 

He closed his eyes.

 

_I'm happy for you._

 

 

 


End file.
